


It’s not the destination

by QueenofSchmoop



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Time, Gay Male Character, Kissing, Loneliness, M/M, Making Out, Sandy being a supportive friend, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 16:58:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16836748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenofSchmoop/pseuds/QueenofSchmoop
Summary: Jared is a lonely bookworm. Jensen is a lonely music fan. They happen to take the same bus every day. This is the story of what happens.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted elsewhere, been meaning to put this up on AO3. That time has come.

Jared Padalecki sometimes didn’t notice when the bus got to his stop. He would be too caught up in the book he was reading and he’d glance up to find that his stop had already passed by. He would pull the cord, ring the bell and get off at the next one. He would swear that he would start to pay more attention, put his book away when he knew he was getting close. And he would keep that promise to himself. For a time. 

But eventually another good book would consume him and it would happen again. Chad, who was his best friend for reasons Jared didn’t quite understand, would razz him and say he should just get a car like everyone else. But he liked the bus. It gave him extra time to read and he felt it helped out, in some small way, with the environment. 

So, he took the bus and read his books and tried to pay attention but usually got lost in what he was reading. He was polite and would stand and give his seat to someone if they needed it but while the bus usually started out crowded there always seemed to be room for people to sit. He also always tried to say hello and goodbye to the drivers--some of whom he liked better than others--feeling that it was just polite. But once the bus was in motion he would reopen his book and fall back into the world he was reading about. 

Thus, he didn’t know how long the beautiful man had been riding his bus until one evening he glanced up as the vehicle bounced over a particularly vicious pothole. His eyes flitted to the side and he found himself staring at a man sitting near the back. Jared could see that the guy had ear buds in and was clearing lost in his own world of music. His eyes weren’t quite closed. 

Jared had known he was gay since high school. He’d dated a few girls but known he had wanted to really date guys. Mostly he’d kept to himself. He’d taken a girl--his best friend, really--to prom and had a decent time. But he was still somewhat relieved to get away to college. He had experimented there, dating several young men and having a relationship with one in particular. But Milo had turned out to be a jerk so Jared broke up with him. Not before he’d lost his virginity to the jerk though, so there was that. 

When he’d graduated from college he’d had trouble finding a job. After trying nearly every industry that had anything to do with books--which Milo had sometimes complained were the true love of Jared’s life--he had finally ended up taking a job working in an office. 

It left him little time to read and he wasn’t all that fond of most of his co-workers. He mostly kept himself to himself. He’d gone on a few dates since leaving college but most of the time he’d rather be with his books. 

But he could not help but notice this man. His face was gorgeous and his body well built without being too muscular. He had truly phenomenal lips, Jared noted. Then he blushed as he realized he was staring. He went back to his book but for the first time in a long time he couldn’t concentrate on it. He kept sneaking little glances to the back of the bus, where the man sat. He almost missed his stop again but pulled the cord in time. Jared noticed that the other man was still on the bus as it pulled away. So he lived along Jared’s route but not at a stop nearby. Interesting. 

All the rest of that night he found concentrating on his book difficult. His thoughts kept wandering back to the man on the bus. Finally he gave up and went to bed. 

The next morning he found himself looking around but the man wasn’t there. It was silly to think he would be. But all through the day he found himself wondering if he’d be on the bus that night. As Jared got on he greeted Misha, the driver, and then went to sit down. He was getting into the story when the bus chugged away from the curb and he looked around. His eyes stopped near the back. The man was there! Jared had missed him getting on. Did he work around here? Questions crowded his brain. 

He also noticed that once again the guy had his ear buds in and his eyes mostly closed. It was another distracted ride. When he got off he waved to Misha and headed toward his apartment. He had just gotten inside when his phone rang. 

“Hello?”

“It is Friday night and you are coming out with us whether you want to or not.”

“You notice how you never say ‘hello’, Chad? It’s a little annoying. And no, I’m not.”

“Jared, I love ya but you have the biggest stick up your ass of anyone I have ever known. You’re not a Grandpa yet. Get out and live a little! Get laid! Dance. Get drunk. Something.”

“Thank you got that wonderful advice. If I listened to you I’d be in jail, I’m sure. And this being Friday night is not a good enough reason to go out.”

“Then how about this? I know a guy--”

“No.” Jared began moving around his kitchen to make supper. “Last time you set me up on a date, Chad, he stole my wallet!”

“But even you admitted that it was a good date up until then!” 

“No more setups.”

“Then just come out with me.”

“You have a million drinking buddies,” Jared said as he popped the microwave open. “Go out with one of them.”

“Listen, I’m trying to help you. No one is going to want to date someone who just reads all the time. Plus, how are you ever going to meet guys if all you do is read?”

“Maybe I don’t want to meet guys. At least not right now.”

Chad sighed. “Fine. Stay in. Be boring. Fall asleep in your chair around 9:00 and wake up with a crick in your neck. I’m going out and having fun tonight. If you change your mind, call me.”

Jared just made a noise and hung up. He knew Chad had his best interests at heart but going out and getting drunk until you threw up was not his idea of fun. Neither was being set up on blind dates by his friend. Instead, he got his food, sat down at the table and read. After an hour he took a break to go for a quick jog around the neighborhood. He always made sure to get some exercise in when he could. He did wish he had a pet of some kind but the apartment owner didn’t allow anything but fish and Jared had been raised that fish were food, not pets. 

He went back in, took a shower and settled into his comfy chair to finish the book. He made a point of _not falling asleep_ in it, instead going to bed at around 10. 

The next day he got up and got dressed in casual clothes and walked down to catch the bus. He couldn’t stop himself from looking again even though he told himself it was silly to do so on a Saturday. He got off at his usual Saturday stop. When he walked in he heard a cry of, “Oh thank God!” 

He turned and saw Sandy McCoy rushing toward him. “Whoa, Sandy, where’s the fire?”

“No fire, just super busy today. We need your magic touch.” She had clamped onto his arm and was steering him. “We’re full to capacity today.”

“I see that,” he said as he let her lead him deeper into the building. “Shorthanded as usual?”

“Of course.” They stopped in front of some cages. “I suppose you want the dogs?”

“You’re better with the cats,” he placated her. 

“Yeah, yeah,” she waved her hand. “There’s plenty for everyone.” She waved a hand around the animal shelter. 

Jared had been volunteering here since he’d moved to the city. Before he’d even had a job he’d come here. He couldn’t have pets in his building but being here meant he got time with animals. It was tough--sometimes you really wanted to take all the animals home with you--but he loved it just the same. It was always busy, they were always short staffed and Sandy was always glad to see him. 

Sandy was a co-volunteer. She worked at a boutique in the mall and went on local modeling jobs in her spare time. She was very pretty and a good friend to Jared but that was all. And she knew it. When she’d flirted with him when she’d first started he’d told her he was gay. She’d been a bit saddened but from then on they’d been good friends. Now she slapped at his belly and told him, “Get to work, Padalecki!”

“Yes, ma’am,” he saluted and headed back to where the dogs were kept. They greeted him with enthusiasm. Time slipped by quickly as he played and fed, walked and watered. He broke for lunch, taking Sandy down the street to the pita place since she was constantly watching her weight. She talked about her latest modeling gig and her parents. They both traded ‘I hate my job’ stories. 

Then she looked at him, wiping delicately at her mouth. “So, anyone on the horizon for you?”

Jared shook his head. “You sound like Chad.” The two had never met--and never would if Jared could help it. 

“God forbid.” She’d heard enough stories about Murray. “But seriously, Jared, no guys you’re interested in?”

“Why is everyone suddenly obsessed with setting me up?” He kept the heat out of his remark. 

“I guess because we all want you to be happy.”

“I am. Don’t need a guy for that.”

“Amen to that,” they fist bumped. “Still, doesn’t hurt. And the sex is fun.”

Jared rolled his eyes. 

“So no one?”

He resisted the urge to do it again. “Nope.” Then he thought of the man on the bus and blushed. 

“Oh ho!” She poked at him as they got up to head back. “You holding back on me?”

“It’s nothing!”

“Nothing does not make a person blush like that! Tell me!”

“There’s nothing to tell. He’s just this guy on my bus home.”

“Cute?”

“Gorgeous.”

“Sounds promising.”

“I don’t even know if he’s gay.” Jared found himself telling Sandy all about the guy then clamped his lips shut as her eyes lit up. “No. Whatever you’re thinking, whatever your dastardly plan, the answer is no.”

“I was just thinking that next time you see him you should say hi. Strike up a conversation.”

“He’s got those ear buds in,” he reminded her.

“So? Then wave. Something.”

“I don’t want to bother him. Or appear creepy.”

Sandy sighed. They were almost back. She stopped him on the sidewalk. “If you don’t talk to him, then what? You moon over him for ages? A bad case of unrequited love?”

“Maybe it’s better,” he said, moving her along. 

Her face got that look that he knew so well. So he distracted her by pointing out the family that was coming in. He hoped they would adopt an animal from the shelter. Sandy let herself be distracted but before Jared left later that day she cornered him. “I want you to promise me that you will do something sometime this next week with this guy. Doesn’t have to be anything big. A wave, a smile, something. Promise!”

Jared squirmed but he finally lifted his hands in surrender and said, “All right, I promise!”

Sandy gave a very self-satisfied smile, nodded and hugged him. Then she walked off with a “See you next week! And you better have details!”

He took the bus home, torn between reading and thinking over what Sandy had said. He pretty much continued with those two activities until Monday. In the morning he fumbled into his pressed pants and shirt to head into the office. He was so grateful that he didn’t have to wear a tie. The day went by slowly, with him sneaking peeks at the book he kept hidden. Finally the bus ride home came. He got on, said hello to Misha, who was the driver again, and sat down. Jared was determined to keep his nose out of his book and see the guy come on. 

Then he panicked and thought that would look too strange and he better have his book out. In pulling it out he fumbled and it dropped under his seat. He half crawled under to get it and when he got up they were pulling away from the stop. He sat down, wiped his book off and casually glanced around. Yep, there the guy was. His usual spot in the back. But this time something was different. 

This time someone was with him. Talking earnestly to him. A tall guy with a heck of a build on him and long hair. Dressed in casual wear. Jared focused his eyes to the book and strained to hear but he couldn’t over the bus’s noise and the chattering around him. As people began to get off the bus though, he began to make out bits. 

“Listen, I’m telling’ ya, it’s not right, Jenny!” Jared’s brow furrowed. His crush was named ’Jenny’? Wasn’t that a girl’s name? 

“Stop calling me Jenny,” came the reply. “It’s Jensen, _Christian_.” 

“Fine. _Jensen_.” It was said with more than a little mocking. Huh, Jared thought. So his name was Jensen. That was unusual. “I’m just saying for you to work at this place is beneath you. Why don’t you come be in the band with me and the guys?”

“I’ve told you a million times, Chris. I don’t like singing in public.”

“You do it all the time!”

“For my friends. But not professionally. You’re the professional singer man, not me.”

“But you love music!” Chris almost wailed this. 

“Yes. But that doesn’t mean I can sing.”

“But I know you can.”

“Maybe. But I don’t want to do it for a living like you do.” Jensen had turned slightly, Jared saw, and put his hand on this Christian’s shoulder. “Please stop trying to recruit me.”

Chris sighed. “I just think it’s so beneath you. Working at some record store? Plus how outdated are records anyway?”

Jared’s eyes went a little wider. Jensen worked at a record store near where Jared worked? That could only mean one place. _Morgan Records_. Jared passed by it on his way to the bus stop every evening as he went to meet his bus He was so engrossed with this info that he lost track of what Jensen and Christian were saying and when he finally came back from his thoughts he realized that once again he’d missed his stop. He reached up and pulled the rope, clambering to his feet with a hot blush on his cheeks. 

As he stepped off, waving thanks to Misha, he happened to glance up. And saw Jensen looking at him. It startled him so badly he missed the curb, stumbled up and almost went down on the sidewalk. When he righted himself, muttering swear words under his breath, the bus had pulled away. He walked home, elated that he had finally learned some things about Jensen and crushed that he had made such a fool of himself. 

The next week passed by quietly. Jensen rode alone in the evenings for the rest of the week, no sign of Christian anywhere. He made no more eye contact and Jared, embarrassed, did not try on his own. When Saturday came, Jared dreaded going to the shelter but couldn’t let down Sandy. 

Sure enough, as soon as lunch came and they had a moment she started grilling him over their pitas. “So?”

“His name is Jensen, he works at the record store up the street where I work and I can never ever talk to him. Cause I’m a moron.” 

She drew the story out of him and laughed, which made him huff. After apologizing she patted his arm. “Sweetie, I’m sure he thought it was cute. Or that you just tripped for a regular reason.”

Jared brushed crumbs off his face. “Sandy, I told you, I don’t even know if he’s gay.”

“Then find out.”

“How? There’s no secret handshake or anything, you know.”

“There should be,” she muttered, then frowned. “Maybe you wear something gay and see how he reacts?”

“Wear something gay? Like what? A pink shirt?”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “I meant more like a Pride shirt or something. Besides you wear pink all the time.”

“On Saturdays,” he said, as they got up. “And I’d rather not wear anything like that to the office. Too many people there are jerks.”

“So change before you leave.”

He shook his head. They argued all the way back to the shelter but she couldn’t talk him into it. Though he did spend the rest of the weekend thinking about it. 

After Monday and Tuesday passed as before, Jared finally bit the bullet. He didn’t take the extreme step that Sandy suggested though. Instead, before leaving the office on Wednesday night he clipped a small rainbow pin to shirt. Samantha, the driver today, smiled when she saw it. She nodded encouragingly. He smiled back and took his seat. 

No one seemed to make a fuss. Jared kept his head buried in his book as people went by. On Monday he looked up just as Jensen was coming on and had immediately dropped his book. So now he waited till Jensen was seated before looking around. He did so today as well. But Jensen didn’t seem to looking at him, ear buds on and lost in the world of music. 

Jared figured maybe he hadn’t seen the pin so he wore it the next day too. Still no reaction. Well, so much for that, he thought. Friday came and he didn’t bother to wear it again. He went home, fielded yet another annoyed phone call from Chad about wanting to go out drinking and then settled in with his new paperback. 

The next day, Sandy practically yanked him out the door as they broke for lunch. “Tell me everything!”

“There’s not much to tell,” he insisted. “Plus, why are you so interested?”

“Cause my boyfriend, well my ex actually, was a jerk and I am not seeing anyone right now and so I am living vicariously through your romance.”

“It’s hardly a romance.”

“To someone who spends her times with cats, it’s a romance,” she told him. “Now spill!”

He told her about the pin and about the non-reaction. She berated him for not going with a bigger and bolder symbol. He countered that maybe Jensen was straight or just wasn’t interested. “Maybe he’s already got a boyfriend.”

Sandy plotted for him but in the end they went back to the shelter with no ideas. As he was leaving she suddenly came bustling out of nowhere. “Jared! Oh my God, you have to see this!” She shoved a flyer in his face. 

“Sandy!” He pulled it away. He shot her a look then glanced at the flyer. Then stopped and really looked at it. “What…?”

“You said the guy Jensen was talking was called Christian, right? But that Jensen called him Kane as well? And that he was in a band?”

Jared nodded at all this, eyes locked on the paper. 

“And this,” she crowed, “is an ad for a band called ’Kane’, fronted by someone named Christian Kane!” She tapped the paper. “This must be Jensen’s friend! We have to go.”

“Go? What? No. And what do you mean we?”

“Because even if I get you to promise that you’ll go you won’t. I know you.”

“You do?”

“You think working with someone around animals doesn’t tell someone what they are like?”

“Sandy--”

“We’re going. Tonight.”

“What? No, I can’t tonight--”

“Why?”

He spluttered and tried to think of some reason but she just smiled triumphantly. “I’ll pick you up at 10.”

“What?”

“I know where you live. I know you don’t have a car. I do. I’ll pick you up at 10.”

He started spluttering again but she waved and walked off. He turned and saw his bus pulling up and had to sprint to catch it. He sat on the bus, bemused and wondering if he could fake getting sick. Or maybe just not open his door? 

No, he knew Sandy. It was better just to give in and go this one time and then never again. Besides, his bus guy probably wouldn’t even be there. 

Sandy showed up at his door right at 10. She immediately frowned. “You’re wearing the same clothes as earlier!”

“So?”

“So, we’re going to a club. You should change.”

Suddenly irritated he stepped through the door and shut it tight behind him. “Sandy. I’m going to this thing. But that’s the limit. What I am wearing will have to be fine.”

She looked at his face, mouth tight then nodded. “Fine. Look like a dork. I’ll just tell everyone you’re my gay friend with no fashion sense.”

He rolled his eyes and they got into her car, which was barely big enough for Jared’s long legs. They drove to the bar where Kane and his group were performing. After finding seats at a table and ordering over-priced beer they waited for the show to start. Sandy kept bobbing up and down and asking “is that him?” in an effort to find Jensen. 

After a while he stopped replying and she sat down. The band came on and Jared recognized Christian from the bus. He didn’t dare glance around for fear how Sandy would react. The music was really good though and he soon found himself lost in the lyrics and beat. Sandy started to loosen up and enjoy herself too, only slapping at him as he pulled a book free from his messenger bag that he carried with him everywhere. He made a face at her and told her this was good music to read by and she called him a dork for reading in a bar. So he put it away. 

The night passed fairly pleasantly. Jared made sure that she only had the one beer so she could drive them home. He only had two himself, nursing them. When the set ended he clapped and then got up. 

“C’mon.”

“Where we going?”

“You’re going to take me home.”

“I thought you were having fun!”

“I was. I did. Thank you.” Impulsively, he leaned down and kissed her cheek. “But time to go home.”

She looked like she was going to argue but then she sighed and walked out with him. “I’m sorry Jensen didn’t show.”

“It’s okay. This was fun. Thanks.”

“We should do it again.” 

He smiled at her. “Sure. At least you’re not trying to get me laid like Chad.”

“Chad,” she said and blew a raspberry. “He’s stupid.”

They laughed and Sandy took him home. He found himself inside his apartment and in his bed soon, marveling that he had had such a good time. It seemed like a good day. 

The next day he had a bit of a headache from the beers--his friends always said he was a lightweight--but it was all right because he mostly spent the day reading and napping. When work came on Monday he was ready to go back. And looking forward to seeing Jensen on the bus again. 

But there was no Jensen that evening. Jared could not even pretend to read his book as the bus pulled away from the curb--Sam driving again--without him. He thought about shouting that they had to stop, obviously Jensen was running late and they had to wait, but he didn’t. Instead, he sat and didn’t read his book all the way home. 

Thinking it an aberration he waited on pins and needles for quitting time on Tuesday. Still there was no Jensen on the bus. It continued all week. Jared told himself that it was for the best. That maybe Jensen had been at the bar or Christian had seen him and recognized him and warned him he had a stalker. That he didn’t even know if Jensen was gay. But it didn’t help the hollow place inside his heart any. 

When Saturday came he thought about calling in sick at the shelter but knew he couldn’t do that to the animals. So he steeled himself and went in. Sandy said hi to him, took one look at his face and asked, “What?”

“Later.” 

When it was time for lunch break she ran into the room where he was taking care of the dogs and said, “It’s later,” and dragged him off. 

Her mouth formed a little ‘O’ as he told her about Jensen not being on the bus all week. “Maybe…maybe he’s on vacation!” She tried to summon a smile. “Or maybe he had a family emergency? Or maybe he lost his job and now he takes a different bus?”

Jared just shrugged. He picked at his food and was even more depressed that Sandy didn’t try any more after that. Instead she just patted his arm and looked sad. 

“You wanna go out tonight?” She asked as they got back to the shelter. 

“No, thanks.” He turned and hugged her, startling them both. “I’ll see you next week.” 

He went home. His mother called Sunday night and he chatted for a while, asking about family, asking about his father. When she asked if he was dating he simply said no. He’d come out to his parents in college, shortly after he’d met Milo. He’d brought Milo home once and that had been a disaster. He should have known then that it wasn’t going to work out. After wishing well to all his family he hung up and went to read.


	2. Chapter 2

Monday, when he went to get lunch, he found his feet walking in the other direction from usual. Walking right toward Morgan Records. He felt like he was having an out of body experience as he pushed through the doors and went in. There were only a handful of people in there and the man behind the counter--an older, handsome man--nodded at him. He nodded back and then looked around. He found himself in the country section, being from Texas. 

He was flipping through a few when a voice asked from nearby, “You looking for anything in particular that I can help you find?”

Jared jumped and saw the man from behind the counter standing there. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” the man said. 

“No, it’s okay. Just startled me. Um, this might sound weird but do you have any records by a band called Kane?”

The man’s eyes crinkled. “Oh, you one of Jensen’s friends?”

“What? Um, no. I mean, I know Jensen but not really. At all, actually. Um…” He turned red and looked down at his shoes. He looked back up to see the man with a puzzled expression on his face. “Jensen rides my bus. We’ve never met but I heard him talking to Christian one day. I checked Kane out and they’re good.”

The man stared at him and then said, “So _you’re_ Jared.”

Jared goggled. “How do you know my name?”

“Jensen told me, son.” He clapped a hand on one shoulder. “Nice to finally put a face to the name.”

“Jensen told you? Jensen knows my name?” He was flabbergasted. How was that possible?

“I suspect you and he need to have a little talk. Today’s his day off.”

“Oh he wasn’t fired?”

With a slight rearing back, the reply came, “Why would you think he’d been fired?”

“Um,” Jared turned red again, “He hasn’t been on the bus the last week so…”

Laughter came gently to Jared’s ears. “No, he hasn’t been fired. I do know why he hasn’t been riding the bus though. But I do think you two ought to talk. I’m Jeff Morgan, by the way. Owner of Morgan Records and Jensen’s boss.”

Jared shook the man’s hand. “Jared Padalecki. Nice to meet you.”

“Jensen will be in tomorrow if you want to stop in.”

“I,” Jared was suddenly very unsure, “I don’t know if--”

“Son,” Jeff said, nodding, “trust me.” He steered him to the door. “Come back tomorrow.”

Jared let himself be gently pushed out the door and stood on the sidewalk. He was big enough most people moved around him as he stood there in a daze. Then he glanced at his watch. Shit! He was late. He very rarely got back late from lunch. He heard about it from Mr. Lehane, yessiring his way through it all, head spinning. He didn’t even try to read on the bus home, prompting Misha to say something. 

“Your eyes finally get tired or did you finally read all the books in the world?” Misha joked as Jared got off. 

Jared just shrugged and walked up to his apartment. He made a quick meal and sat there, replaying the conversation with Mr. Morgan over and over. He picked up the phone several times to call Sandy, to call Chad--well, once for that--even to call his mother. But he always put it back. 

The next day, at lunch, he debated all the way down to the sidewalk. He stood there a moment, then squared his shoulders and headed straight for Morgan Records. He nearly lost his nerve at the door but he took a deep breath and walked in. There was no one behind the counter but then he saw someone helping some teen kid in the back. When the kid turned to head to the counter Jared saw the guy was Jensen. 

He stopped dead in the Heavy Metal section and couldn’t help but stare. It had seemed like forever since he’d seen Jensen and somehow the man appeared to have gotten prettier. Then Jensen looked up from the kid and noticed Jared standing there like a dork. He froze then pasted a professional smile on his face and rang the kid up. When the teen had left at last, Jared made straight for the counter. 

“Jensen.”

Jensen looked up from where he’d been pretending to count change. “Jared.”

So Jensen _did_ know his name. Jared swallowed. “I’m sorry.”

“What? For what?”

“For whatever. I don’t know why you stopped riding the bus but I’m sorry if I scared you or whatever. I wasn’t stalking you, I swear--!”

Jensen held up a hand. “Whoa, slow down. What are you talking about?”

“You haven’t been on the bus in a week and a half. I figured it was cause of me showing up at Kane’s concert?”

Jensen’s eyes cut away. “Sort of.”

“You thought I was stalking you or something, right?”

“No,” came the immediate reply. 

Jared stopped what he was going to say. “No?” He blinked. “Then why’d you stop riding the bus? Oh, _were_ you on vacation?”

“No,” Jensen laughed, then turned serious. “It was because…”

“Because why?” Jared prompted. 

“Because I was wrong about you. I thought I’d finally found someone interesting that would be interested in me.”

“I am interested in you!”

“Not the way I’d like.” Jensen saw the confusion and said, “I’m gay, Jared.”

Now Jared was really bewildered. “Um, so am I.”

“No, you’re not.”

“What? Yes I am. I’m gay. Believe me, I know this.”

“But…,” Jensen bit his lip which made Jared want to groan, “what about the girl?”

“What girl?”

“The girl you brought to Kane’s gig. The one you kissed.”

Jared looked at him and then asked, “You mean _Sandy?! _” He shook his head. “She’s just a friend. A bullying, pushy but in a good way, friend. We volunteer at the animal shelter together and she made me go to the Kane concert--”__

__“She made you?”_ _

__Jared sighed. “Look, it’s a long story. But she’s just a friend and I kissed her on the cheek cause, well, I’m a touchy-feely kind of guy. But I’m gay. I like to kiss men and yeah, gay. According to Sandy I have no fashion sense though.”_ _

__Jensen began to look like Christmas hadn’t been canceled after all. “Just a friend?”_ _

__“Yes. So you stopped riding the bus cause you thought I was straight?”_ _

__Jensen nodded, his cheeks pink._ _

__Jared realized they had a lot to talk about. “You get off at 5, right?”_ _

__A quick nod._ _

__“Great. Want to go get something to eat tonight? There’s a great diner up the street, I go there for lunch most days. It’s called Sebastian’s.”_ _

__“I know,” Jensen blurted then blushed._ _

__Jared smiled. “Want to meet me there or should I swing by and pick you up?”_ _

__“I’ll meet you there.”_ _

__Jared nodded. “We obviously have a lot to talk about and I have to get back to work.” He glanced at his watch. If he ran he’d be back on time. He edged toward the door. “I’ll see you later?”_ _

__Jensen nodded and Jared had to accept that. He took off and was back just in time. He was twitchy all afternoon, replaying the conversation, thinking about things like fate. When 5:00 came he one of the first out the door. He practically sprinted up to Seb’s-as the regulars like to call it-and found Jensen waiting in the doorway._ _

__“You came!”_ _

__“Yeah. Got off a little early in fact.”_ _

__They went in and secured a table. After Genevieve, a waitress who always liked to hit on Jared despite knowing he was gay, took their orders, Jared steepled his hands._ _

__“So, I think you need to tell me a story.”_ _

__Jensen nodded. “My name is Jensen Ackles and I’m from Texas too.”_ _

__Jared started in surprise._ _

__“Yeah, from Dallas.”_ _

__“I’m from San Antonio.”_ _

__“I knew you were Texas but not from where exactly,” Jensen smiled._ _

__Fighting off the urge to ask questions, Jared gestured for his dinner companion to continue._ _

__“I came here to study music. I love music. I went to college here and music was my major.”_ _

__Jared couldn’t help but butt in again. “Do you sing? Or play an instrument?”_ _

__“I sing. And play guitar. Chris says I’m good but I’m nowhere near his league. I’m kinda shy so I don’t like getting up on stage. I don’t like performing. I like the music, not my music, you know?”_ _

__Jared nodded. “Go on.”_ _

__“After I got out of college, well, there aren’t a lot of jobs in the music field if you aren’t a performer or a teacher. I just wanted a job that let me listen to music. I actually ended up taking some retail jobs and other crap for a while. Until I stumbled on Morgan Records.” Jared watched Jensen smile in remembrance. “Jeff was awesome. He let me stand there and listen to stuff and pick his brain--man knows more about classic rock than anyone I have ever met.” Jensen was emphatic. “Finally one day he said I was spending so much time at his store I might as well work there. So I went to work for him.”_ _

__By now Genevieve had come back and they ordered, burger and fries for Jared, chicken for Jensen. Jensen played with his straw for a moments until she left. Then he looked back up at Jared. “It’s a good job, doesn’t pay a whole lot and the customers are a bit scarce but it lets me listen to music.” He took a breath. “And then one day, I looked up right before my shift ended and…,” he trailed off._ _

__“Yes?” Jared prompted._ _

__“Saw you. Well, I didn’t know it was you I mean, I did but--,” he stopped, bright red._ _

__“You saw me go by on the way to the bus.”_ _

__“Yeah. I…this is going to sound ridiculous.”_ _

__“Tell me anyway?”_ _

__“I was captivated. It’d been a while since I’d dated anyone, my last relationship had crashed and burned when I’d found my boyfriend with another guy, but when I saw you…I don’t know. It was like I had to meet you.”_ _

__Jared smiled, feeling flattered. “You started taking my bus?”_ _

__“I got on three days later. It took a few days to work up the courage and figure out which one you rode. I actually found out we don’t live far from each other.” Jared nodded, glad to have the confirmation. “But you always had your attention on some book. I thought maybe you were a student or something.”_ _

__“I look young enough to be a student?” Jared laughed as Genevieve came by again to offer them top ups on their drinks._ _

__“Maybe,” Jensen shrugged._ _

__“How long did you ride before I noticed you?”_ _

__“I don’t know when you noticed me so I can’t say.”_ _

__“You always had your ear buds in.”_ _

__“Partly to listen to music to psyche myself up to go talk to you. Partly to drown my sorrows that you didn’t even seem to notice me. Hell, I wasn’t even sure you were gay.”_ _

__“That sounds familiar,” came the reply, with a wry smile._ _

__“But I kept riding. Kept hoping.”_ _

__“I heard you and Chris the day he rode with you.”_ _

__“You did?”_ _

__Jared explained what he’d overheard and how he’d told Sandy, and how she’d found the flyer and made him go to the Kane show. “And apparently you were there. I was looking for you.”_ _

__“I always sit backstage--otherwise Chris makes me get up and sing with them. Sometimes he does anyway,” Jensen said ruefully._ _

__No wonder Jared hadn’t seen him. “You saw me kiss Sandy.”_ _

__“Yes. I thought it meant you were straight. I mean, coming in with a girl, maybe you’re just friends. But you kissed her.”_ _

__“On the cheek!” Jared nearly knocked over his drink with a gesture._ _

__“I couldn’t tell from that angle.”_ _

__“You stopped riding the bus.”_ _

__“Yeah. Then Jeff told me about you coming into the shop. He told me you seemed interested. I almost didn’t show up for work.”_ _

__“I’m glad you did,” Jared said, covering Jensen’s hand for a second then pulling away._ _

__They both cut their eyes away, a bit embarrassed, and concentrated on finishing their dinner. Crumpling his napkin and dropping it on his plate, Jared said, “My turn,” and began to tell Jensen his story. They finished their beers and stayed where they were as he told the tale. As Jared was finishing up, Genevieve came over again. She slapped the check down and said, “We need the table fellas, unless you’re planning on ordering something else?”_ _

__It was the first time she’d been snippy with Jared and he thought he knew why. He smiled at her. “No, thanks. We’re done.”_ _

__“I hope that’s not true,” Jensen murmured, reaching for his wallet._ _

__“I hope it’s not either.” Jared had already beaten him to it and dropped some cash on the table. At Jensen’s look he said, “You can buy next time.”_ _

__“Next time?”_ _

__“You don’t think I’m letting you get away again, do you?” They walked out of the diner and out to the busy street. “Crap.”_ _

__“What?”_ _

__Jared had been looking at his watch. “The last bus that goes to our neighborhood left 10 minutes ago.”_ _

__Jensen asked, “Want to share a cab?”_ _

__Cabs were pretty expensive, and therefore a luxury, Jared didn’t often allow himself but in this case, he’d make an exception. Soon they were drawing near to their usual drop off point. Jared realized he’d given the cab driver his address as their destination. He turned to Jensen but he seemed totally calm. They pulled up and this time Jensen beat him to it, paying the man. When Jared protested he brushed him off. They stood there in front of the building._ _

__“This is mine. I mean, where I live. I don’t own the building.” He forced himself to stop talking._ _

__Jensen smiled. “You’re not going to invite me up to see this famous book collection of yours?”_ _

__Jared looked at him. “Okay, I’m rusty at this dating thing and was never that good at it before anyway. If I did ask you that, would you take it to mean I wanted sex?”_ _

__Jensen laughed but not in a mean way. “I would take it to mean that you wanted to show me your books. If sex happens…”_ _

__Jared gulped. “Jensen, would you like to see my book collection?”_ _

__A nod, then the stairs to his room. He opened the door and remembered the mess he’d left the place in. As Jensen looked around he scurried around and tried to clean up or least shove the more offending things behind something else. But Jensen seemed spellbound by the bookcases. “Wow! That is a lot of books.”_ _

__“Most of mine are still at home with Momma and Dad. I didn’t have room to bring all of ‘em.”_ _

__“Which one is your favorite?” Jensen asked, head tilting as he looked at titles._ _

__“My favorite tends to change.”_ _

__“C’mon. There’s one book in here that’s your ‘go to’, isn’t it?” Looking around, he said, “I bet I can figure it out.”_ _

__Jared smiled. “Oh yeah?”_ _

__“Yeah.”_ _

__“Go for it,” he gestured._ _

__Jensen walked around the room, looking at many of the books. He circled back, touched a few spines and then stopped. “Found it.”_ _

__Jared waited._ _

__“This one.” Jensen pulled a book from the shelf. “Am I right?”_ _

__Jared didn’t even have to look at the title. He knew that book so well. “Yes. How did you know? It’s not specially displayed or anything.”_ _

__“At first I thought it might be _To Kill a Mockingbird_. Your copy is pretty tattered. Means you’ve read it a lot.”_ _

__“One of my favorites.”_ _

__“But you’ve others that are well worn. You obviously don’t mind buying used books.”_ _

__“Pre-loved, my Momma calls it.”_ _

__“Pre-loved,” Jensen murmured. “I like that.” He looked down at the book. “This one is obviously used but not as greatly. It still looks special. Shiny. It’s a really good copy. It’s obvious you only read it when you especially want to.”_ _

__“Or need to,” Jared agreed._ _

__“Or that,” he agreed. “Then there’s the fact of its placement on your shelf. Easy to reach, within the line of sight. So you know it’s there.”_ _

__Impressed, Jared nodded._ _

__“It’s important to you. By the way your eyes lit up as my hand crossed the spine told me it was dear to you. Cherished from childhood?” he guessed._ _

__Jared reached out and covered Jensen’s with his own. “It’s the first story I can remember my Momma reading to me as a child. The first time I got lost in the magic of a book. Yes, it’s my favorite.” His fingers slipped over the title of _Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland_. “Anyone ever tell you you’re brilliant?”_ _

__Jensen smiled shyly. “Not lately.”_ _

__“Well, you are.” And moved by who knew what, he set the book down carefully and said, “I’d like to kiss you now, if that’s not too forward.”_ _

__“No.”_ _

__Jared froze, thinking he was being turned down._ _

__“That’s not too forward.”_ _

__With an exhale, they came together and lips slowly pressed together._ _

__“I…” Jared stammered as they broke apart._ _

__Reaching up to cup his face and look deep into those eyes, Jensen shushed him. “We’ll take it slow,” he whispered. “You’re worth it.”_ _

__“How do you know that?”_ _

__Another kiss. “Alice is my favorite book too.” They kissed again and then Jensen stepped back. He stopped and wrote on a piece of paper nearby. “This is my address and phone number. Or you can stop in at the store.”_ _

__“I’ve got volunteering tomorrow,” he blurted out._ _

__“I know. Call me after and tell me what Sandy said?”_ _

__Jared nodded, dazed but happy. He walked Jensen to the door. “You’ll be all right getting home?”_ _

__“Yes.” He seemed amused by Jared’s chivalry._ _

__They paused in that doorway. They moved together, kissed again, then Jared watched Jensen depart down the hallway. He watched until he was out of sight then he went to the window and watched him walk up the street. Jensen turned and waved at him as he walked away and he waved back._ _


	3. Chapter 3

Then next day, at the shelter, Sandy knew immediately something was up. She flitted around him but he wouldn’t talk about it until lunch. She ordered in a hurry and when they got their meals she didn’t even bother to unwrap hers as she said, “Spill!”

Jared gave her the condensed version and left some details out--they were too precious and private. Every few seconds Sandy would squeal or exclaim. They had to finish their food on the walk back and Jared even had to finish his story as Sandy gave him a ride home. 

“Are you going to call him? See him again?”

“I don’t know…” 

“So help me, Jared--!”

“I just worry that he was just being nice or something.”

Sandy had pulled up to the building and now she flicked his ear. 

“Ow!”

“Call him. Right now.”

“That hurt!”

“Call him now or I do it again,” she raised her hand menacingly. 

He yanked out his cell phone and dialed a number he had memorized last night. 

“Hello?”

“Hello. Um, hey, Jensen, it’s me. Jared. Padalecki. Jared Padalecki. That’s me.” Oh God, his face was redder than a fire engine. Sandy was snickering beside him. 

“Jared,” Jensen said his name with such a rush of affection that he nearly swooned. “Done with volunteering?”

“Yeah. I’m calling from Sandy’s car actually. She gave me a ride home and was beating up on me until I called you.”

“You weren’t going to call me?”

Crap. “I…just didn’t want to be a bother. I told you, not good at this dating thing.” 

Sandy rolled her eyes.

Jensen was silent a moment then, “But you did call. I should thank Sandy.”

Jared melted. “But she hurt me!”

“You probably deserved it.”

“I did not!” Suddenly the phone was yanked away from his ear. “Sandy!”

“Jensen? Hi, this is Sandy. Is your buddy Kane having another gig tonight? I didn’t see any flyers. No? Oh, your friend Steve is? Where? Would you like Jared to come?”

“What are you doing?!” Jared hissed at her. 

“Terrific. Oh no, I won’t be coming along tonight. \ You guys should have alone time.” She listened. Laughed. “Yeah. We’ll have to meet for real one of these days. I’ll give Jared back now.” She handed the phone back. 

Jared shot her a dirty look then put the phone back to his ear. “Jensen? I’m sorry she rail-roaded you--”

“Did you want to come? To Steve’s concert?”

“With you? A date?”

“Yes.”

Jared nodded then realized Jensen couldn’t see. “Yeah. I mean, yes. I want that. I’d like that. Very much.”

“How about I pick you up at 9:00? I have to help him set up, if that’s okay?”

“Fine. Wait! The buses don’t run that late.”

An embarrassed silence. “Um…I have a car.”

“…What?”

“I have a car. Truck, actually. My parents bought it for me a while back. I brought it with me to college. Still runs fine.”

Jared was stunned. “All those times you took the bus…?”

Jensen’s voice even sounded pink. “Just to see you.” There was a moment of silence which was flooded with meaning then Sandy coughed and it passed. “Pick you up at 9:00?”

“Okay.” He didn’t hang up. Jensen didn’t hang up. 

They both waited then Sandy said “Oh for--!” reached across, grabbed the phone, shouted, “Bye Jensen!” and hung up for him. 

“Sandy!” he said again. 

“Let’s go get your ready for your date.”

The next few hours were a whirlwind to Jared. Sandy fed him and chatted with him. Finally she said she had to go. “It’s nice to finally see your place,” she said as she stood near the door. 

Jared felt bad. He should have invited her over sooner. She was turning into a much better friend than Chad had ever been. He told her that. 

“I sure as hell hope so!” She laughed and opened the door. Turning in the doorway, she looked back. “Have fun on your date and call me about it tomorrow, okay?”

He nodded, thanked her again and closed the door behind her. It was 8:00. He had one hour until Jensen arrived. Sandy had told him not to change until just before so he knew he had to find something else to do. Of course, he went to read but his thoughts were all over the place and he couldn’t concentrate. Every time he was sure at least a half hour had passed by he would look up to see either only a few minutes or more had ticked. 

Finally, when it was about quarter till, he got dressed in the outfit Sandy had picked for him and went to wait by the window. He kept moving back from it, not wanting it to look like he was watching for Jensen. Also he didn’t know what his truck looked like so how would he know anyway? But then a big black truck pulled up and parked outside the building. He watched Jensen get out and immediately ducked back from the window to make sure he hadn’t seen him there. 

A few minutes later there was a knock on the door. Jared answered it. 

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Jensen looked him up and down. Jared was dressed in his newest jeans, and a blue button down that was a little small so it clung tight to all his muscles. “Wow. You look great.”

“Thanks. Sandy dressed me.” He blushed bright red. “I mean--”

Jensen was laughing. “She’s got good taste.”

“You look good too,” Jared hastened to add. Jensen was also dressed in dark, crisp jeans but he had on a black fitted tee that showed his biceps off beautifully. 

“Thank you. Shall we go?” 

“I love your truck,” Jared said after they’d been driving a little. 

“Me too. I wanted her for ages. My parents got her for me as a college graduation gift.”

“Nice.”

“What did you get? Books?” Jensen’s tone was teasing. 

“No, actually.” He held up his wrist. “My Momma said I had plenty of those. My parents got me this watch.”

Jensen looked at it at the next stoplight. “It’s very nice.”

“I’ve had it ever since.” 

They smiled and turned a corner, driving down the road till they reached the bar. 

“Who’s playing tonight? Steve?”

“Steve Carlson. He’s a friend of Chris’s. And mine too. I actually met Steve first, at college. Met Chris through him.” 

“Oh?” Jared wanted to hear that story. 

“I’ll let Steve tell you. He loves to embarrass me with that story.” They went in and Jensen headed straight for the stage area, greeting a few people along the way. Finally they came upon a group of guys all with instruments. There was a man with longer, dirty blonde hair in the middle. He glanced up, grinned. 

“Jensen!” He bounded forward and clapped his hands on both of Jensen’s shoulders. “Good, you can help us out.”

“In a sec, Steve. First, let me introduce my date.” Jensen gestured. “This is Jared Padalecki. Jared, Steve Carlson.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jared said. 

“Nice to meet you,” Steve said, a bit blown back. He turned to Jensen. “Date? Really?”

Jared’s brow furrowed. “Why does that surprise you?”

“Cause Jensen here don’t date much. You must be something special.”

Cheeks turning pink, Jared mumbled a little. 

Jensen slapped at Steve. “Leave him alone.” Turning to his date, he said, “Why don’t you go out and pick us a table? I’ll help set up and meet you out there.”

Feeling oddly like he was being dismissed, Jared nodded glumly and headed back out. Not sure if he should order Jensen a beer or not, he didn’t. He got one for himself and only sipped. The bar wasn’t very full yet, as it was early. He saw Jensen from time to time, bringing things out or going in. He began to wonder if this had been a mistake. Jensen appeared at the table. 

Jared started. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Sitting heavily, Jensen motioned to the waitress to bring him a beer. “Sorry I had to leave you like that. I swear, I’m the only one who knows how to make that antiquated amp of Steve’s work.”

“No problem.”

Jensen took his beer gratefully and after a swig, reached out and touched Jared’s arm. “I’m glad we can get to the date part now.”

Jared couldn’t help but be charmed. “Me too.” They chatted a bit, sipping at their beers until Steve’s band came on to play. They listened to the music, which was surprisingly good. It was a nice relaxing evening. Halfway through the set, Jensen left to use the restroom and when he came back he scooted his chair closer and hung his arm over the back of Jared’s chair. That made Jared’s heart glow. 

When the first set was over, they went back to speak to Steve. 

“Good job, man,” Jensen said.

“Thanks. That mean you’re going to join us tonight?”

“Hell no. In case you haven’t noticed, I have a hot date.” He smiled at Jared. “I think I’d rather spend my time with him.”

It took Jared a second to get the reference was to him but then he grinned back. 

“Ugh. Save me from couples who make googly eyes. All right. You’re free for tonight due to the date. Doesn’t mean we’re gonna take no for an answer forever.”

Jensen waved him off and they returned to their seats. Since Jensen was driving home he didn’t have more than the one beer and Jared didn’t much care for it--despite being from Texas--so he stopped too. They ordered club sodas because it was growing hot in there and drank those instead. 

When the second set was over, Jensen looked over at Jared. “Did you want to stay for the last one or head on home?”

Torn, but opting for the truth, Jared replied, “I wouldn’t mind heading home. But if you want to stay--”

Jensen was already signaling the waitress and pulling out his wallet. 

“We can stay if you want to.”

“It’s okay. I’ve heard Steve sing all these songs before.” Jensen’s expression grew shy. “I’d rather spend the time with you anyway.”

Hearing it a second time did not diminish the glow in Jared’s chest. He lumbered to his feet and followed Jensen out to the truck. They drove back to Jared’s place and parked. 

“This was fun.” He realized he had spoken the truth. It was nice to go out with someone and not worry about how drunk they were going to get--Chad--or such things. 

“I’m glad.” They sat there for a few minutes then Jared started to get out. He held the door open. 

“Um…did you want to come up?” He instantly blushed and opened his mouth to say something else but Jensen nodded and his brain fled the vicinity. They went up to his apartment where he fumbled so badly with his keys he almost dropped them They went in and Jared didn’t know what to do next. “Did you want some, um, coffee or something?”

He turned and gasped. Jensen was right there, in his space. “Actually, I’d really like to kiss you. That okay?”

All he could do was nod and then lips were pressed to his. A taste he knew from their previous kiss filled his mouth as his lips parted, seemingly of their own volition. Their tongues touched briefly and Jared felt a zing go through his entire body. Without thinking he swayed forward into the kiss, they overbalanced and with a yelp, went down. Right there on the kitchen floor. 

“Oh my God, are you all right?!” Jared immediately was probing for head injuries or blood. 

“I’m fine. You know, if you wanted to get to me horizontal all you had to do was ask.”

Jared stopped, laughed, then looked down into Jensen’s eyes. “You’re beautiful.” He stopped but, sensing more, Jensen did not speak. “You make me laugh. You’re intelligent and fun to be around and I can…be myself with you. I know we haven’t known each other long and all, but I feel this _connection_ with you, you know?”

“I know.”

“And…,” here he hesitated but then pressed on, “I don’t want to ruin that.”

Jensen seemed to instantaneously understand. “By having sex too soon.”

“Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, I want you.” He pressed his hips into the body under him and they both groaned. 

“I can tell.”

“I just…”

“I get it.” Jensen smiled and reached up and pulled him down for a kiss. “I think it’s very sweet.”

“My ex thought it made me weird or afraid of intimacy or something.”

“He was a moron. Especially to let you go.”

Jared didn’t know what to say to that so he said nothing. Climbing up off Jensen, he helped him up and they moved to the living room. There was a small sofa and they sat on it. Both were so big that they were basically sitting side by side, making it seem more like a loveseat. 

“You sure you’re not hurt?”

“I’m sure.” Jensen let his fingers trail over Jared’s wrist. “Though maybe I should pretend to be hurt so you’ll kiss it better?” He teased. 

“No need for that. I said I wanted to wait to have sex. Kissing is a different story.”

“Thank God,” Jensen said and they leaned in. They kissed for what seemed like ages, eventually wrapping themselves around each other. 

Tempted though he might be to let this move to the next step, Jared always backed off beforehand. Feeling like he was teasing Jensen, he began to back off. But a hand grabbed his shirt collar and yanked him back in and he happily continued their make out session. Finally, lips swollen and bruised, cocks hard in their jeans, and breath coming in short, wet bursts. They broke apart. 

After a moment, Jensen got up and said, “I should go.”

Jared stood as well. “Thanks for the fun night out.”

Jensen smiled, closed the distance between them and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, hand over Jared’s heart. “Can I call you tomorrow?”

Jared nodded. “Though if you call in the morning you’ll get voicemail. I like to sleep in on Sundays.”

Jensen laughed. “Me too. I think it’s rebelling against all those years of having to get up early to go to church.” They stood and smiled at each other for a while then he turned to go. 

“I’ll walk you down to your truck.” He didn’t have to but for reason he didn’t want Jensen to go. He felt like when he left this would become unreal, like a dream. 

They went down and Jensen got in, rolling down his window. Jared stood on the curb and lifted one big hand. “Good night.”

“Night.” 

Jared waited until he couldn’t see the truck anymore and then he headed back up. He thought about calling Sandy but figured it could wait till tomorrow. Instead, he skipped his usual pre-bed book and just climbed into bed, thinking over the night. He fell asleep with a smile on his face. 

The next morning, after sleeping in late as he said, he got up and puttered. He dithered on whether or not to call Sandy as he wanted the line clear in case Jensen called. He was still debating when the phone rang. He looked at the caller ID. 

“Hey Sandy,” he was prepared to rush her off the phone. But she wouldn’t have it. Demanding details, he fell deep into discussing the night with her, but left some facts out. He blinked as he saw the clock and how much time had passed. Telling her about Jensen calling she let him hang up. 

But Jensen didn’t call. 

That was all right. Perhaps something had come up and he wasn’t able to call till later. 

But still Jensen didn’t call. 

It became evening and he dragged himself to the kitchen and ate warmed up soup from the microwave. 

Still Jensen didn’t call. 

Worried now, Jared thought about calling him but thought that might look too needy or panicked. Perhaps there was a reason. After all, he’d been wrong about the reason Jensen had stopped riding the bus. 

He was so preoccupied that he read the same page in his book 5 times before giving up. He watched some TV--he did watch TV, despite what others thought, he just preferred books--but it didn’t help much. 

By the time bed came he didn’t know what to think. He’d dialed Jensen’s number half a dozen times but always chickened out. Going to bed, but not to sleep, he began to wonder if he’d done something wrong. If Jensen had been mad that he hadn’t gone past kissing. Tears leaked out of his eyes at the thought that he’d lost this man for some reason. 

In the morning, he dragged himself out of bed and was listless at the office. There were still no calls from Jensen. He thought about going down to Morgan Records on his lunch break but figured that by not calling, Jensen was telling him it was over. Before it had even begun really. 

Quitting time came and he plodded to the bus stop, didn’t even greet Misha and sat down. He pulled out his book and flipped the pages listlessly, eyes glued to the print. He dreaded telling Sandy about all this, already seeing her pitying expression. He was so lost in his sad thoughts that he didn’t even notice the guy sitting in the seat next to him. Until he spoke. 

“I’m so sorry.”

He dropped his book, eyes flying up. It was Jensen, right in front of him. He was so surprised he almost didn’t hear the words. 

“I tried to call you yesterday but Kane was over and he grabbed my phone away and then the idiot broke it. I was going to use his but his minutes are almost out or something. I don’t have a landline since cells are cheaper. And finding a pay phone nowadays? Impossible. So I was going to come over but Chris was drunk and I had to drive him home and then I figured it was too late. I came over this morning but you’d already left. I wasn’t able to get away during lunch because we were insanely busy at work for some reason--lots of people buying vinyl, which is weird, and the phone kept ringing off the hook so I couldn’t call you from there either. I swear I was going to call you. It’s just the universe went crazy on me. How much do you hate me right now?”

It had all been said in one big breath and Jared had barely heard any of it. What he had realized was that Jensen didn’t want to ditch him, still wanted to be with him and was even worried that he would be mad. Throwing himself into Jensen’s arms made them rock back but they straightened up again. 

“Okay, doesn’t feel like hate to me,” Jensen half laughed. 

“I was worried that something had happened to you or that you’d decided I was too weird or something,” Jared blurted, then blushed. “I thought…you’d chosen not to call me.”

Jensen’s eyes went soft. “No,” he shook his head. They leaned their heads in together, foreheads touching. They stayed like that for a long moment then Jared asked him to repeat his explanation. They were soon laughing about it, Jensen telling him that he had even made Kane swear that he would back him up on it if need be. 

Jared was shaking his head when he said, “Crap! I missed my stop again.”

“Get off with me. At my place, I mean. Least I can do after today,” he shrugged. 

He didn’t even have to think about it. “Yes.”

Jensen grinned and when it was time, he pulled the rope. They got up and off the bus. 

“Hey,” Misha said, looking at them. They were holding hands as they turned. “About time you two found each other.” Startled, neither one of them knew what to say. Misha winked. “I owe Mark ten bucks, little devil.” Then, shutting the doors, he drove off. 

“What was that about?” Jared asked.

“Who knows?” He led the way up the street. 

Jared didn’t know what would happen when they got there or where this was all going. But he knew it wasn’t about the destination, it was all about the journey. 

End

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if I need to change/add to tags


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